A Gradual Process

I wanted to write a personal post. Recently I've had a hard time with my condition, it seems the older you get the larger that desire to settle down and have a family grows. I find it ever increasingly hard to watch Baby programmes or anything with small children in it. I have my good days where I can chat about children and watch baby-related topics with the rest of the women. But some days are really hard, floods of tears, hiding under the duvet, cursing the world, kind of hard. 

I understand that these days come for every one of us beautiful women but it doesn't make it any easier. There's no magic pill or phrase to save us from our own despair, but I never seem to stop searching, as well as MRKH, I suffer from severe depression and anxiety, i'm also being tested for Bi-polar, which makes those low days even harder. With the accumulation of everything else, it's hard not to feel as though the world is caving in on you.

Even though a lot of the time the help people offer, isn't always enough. That's not to say I don't appreciate it, the words of encouragement and support from friends, the doctors ever-willingness to provide any support they can and appointments to explain things that you're uncertain of. It all adds up and sticks with you. 

I suppose the point of this post, is to say it's ok to struggle and have bad days/rough patches. It's ok to hurt, it's ok to feel like the world is caving in and to draw the curtains and hide under a duvet. Every single one of us goes through so much, which we often never speak of, we all fight in the shadows and behind closed doors. But to know that there are people out there who will support you through it all, be there to listen, to talk or just share your company. It's the greatest kindness we could ever show to someone.

Azaryi